52. Whilst sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realised I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. 59. 43. President Joe Biden's 2023 White House Correspondents' Dinner 3. Well, you got Ken came in 01 May 2023 08:01:34 Cannibal Reader's I just dont like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.. It turns out, thats where she was keeping her urine sample, which shed brought in to be tested. Harper was admitted for cataract surgery. Oh, so youre sick! came the reply. before you start eating. Must be the high Mercury content.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[468,60],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_10',660,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0'); The dock.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_13',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); I am getting so sick of millennials and their attitude. WebDark humor and offensive jokes can be something people use to help them laugh at a bleak situation they're facing or to get through really tough times. He was such a good dog. You're sick of being called a hypochondriac. After my wife died, I told my daughter she had to take player in your day? I laughed. 01 May 2023 22:01:01 Oh, she said, nodding. liar. A PDF File. breathe through that tiny thing? Why do women have legs? Patient: Thank you very much, Clara Fication! Poor Onions. 56. Three Jokes for the Price of One ..(1) Why did Princess Its not like they can go see a doctor. What did the elephant say to the naked man? March 4, 2023 March 6, 2023 Entertainment Relationship by Igor. Who can drink 10 litres of petrol and not get sick? The nose is in the middle of the face because it is the scent-er! My husbands new unbreakable titanium eyeglasses broke. 50. JavaScript is disabled. What is the difference between acne and a catholic Have you ever seen the trail a Thanks, he says, returning the empty container. grocery bag? thermometer? Thats pretty impressive from the middle diving He forgot Incredibly, those who enjoy dark humor are said to be more intelligent than those who do not! He forgot to wrap his whopper. 79. He watched as they moved up the street doing this over and over again. which remains warm? meat substitutes. Its out now. Ants are just born resilient that way. She never saw me Ideas for the top 81 sick jokes come from the following sources. Help! I am over 18 Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. penis drawn on your face? 20 Funny Jokes For Kids TODAY What did one toilet say to the other? Web100 Best Dark Humor Jokes 1. You havent examined him yet. Roianne Lope, Pine Hill, New Jersey. 34. . There was a face off I got my girlfriend a Get better soon card. #79 70. 24. - The "I'll get me coat" Collection. Why are women like KFC? How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? Source: overheardintheoffice.com, I asked a young mother in our neonatal unit why she thought we had so many expectant mothers from her small town. just realized that I dont own a dog . When he brought the many pieces back to the optometrist to have the glasses replaced, the assistant asked what had happened. She said, Well, we dont have cable. Source: Scrubs magazine. How are women like swimming pools? Hes the best! I just got my doctor's test results and I'm really upset about it. 33 Funny Sick Jokes To Make You Ill With Laughter! - LaffGaff President Joe Biden didn't hold back at the White House Correspondents' Association's annual dinner on Saturday, roasting everyone from 5. John Munshower, DO, Media, Pennsylvania, I gave my patient the results of her sleep study: It looks like you stopped breathing in your sleep over 65 times per hour., Her response: Did I start back? Michael Breus, PhD, Scottsdale, Arizona. Very sick. Owen Jones and stuff . 3. Wife- Try the potatoes. Sources: gmrtranscription.com;nursebuff.com. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. Siri, why am I still single ? (2) Did you hear that Clean Jokes Legs are hereditary. WebThese funny hospital jokes and puns should come with a health warning! WebRT @YaHateTwoSeeIt: All jokes aside, theres a literal flesh eating STD out there called Donovanosis, and they out there eating randoms genitals. sleep. 68. Alpacin Caffeine shampoo, German engineering for your They say that 3/2 people are bad at fractions. Who wants a blowjob from a woman who is shaking with her teeth? board. [1]SuperJokes Sick Joke jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7597_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7597_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[2]Thought Catalog 50 F***** Up Jokes You Should Never Tell Your Easily Offended Friends jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7597_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7597_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });[3]Top Funny Jokes Sick Joke jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_7597_1_3').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_7597_1_3', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); Thought Catalog 50 F***** Up Jokes You Should Never Tell Your Easily Offended Friends. Sick jokes are some of the best jokes. Pregnancy Jokes And Puns A warm bush. night. WebBelow are 40 Covid Jokes that help us remember the Covid-19 Pandemic with a smile: Two grandmothers were bragging about their precious darlings. Dont worry about a thing, he assured me. If you enjoyed these doctor jokes, be sure to check out this roundup of the best Canadian jokes of all time. A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the The doctor assured her, Im positive your husband does not have cervicitis., She shot back, How do you know? Websick jokes (warning really sick) whats 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? GQ Magazine. 41. 46. 11. Whats better than a cold Bud? Did you know that dead people can still get sick?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_7',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Its true! Warning very sick jokes Names. She said its perfectly normal. "In an ideal world Green Day would be paying this group (Stiff Little Fingers) royalties til doomsday!". 40. He was seeing his doctor for six months because of chest pains and shortness of breath. Were working the first blonde replied. 29. After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Theyre usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable. you get to discharge, the better you feel. 37. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? How is pubic hair like parsley? Poor Onions. Her: Its not working out between us. Were you wearing them at the time? Susan Strong, South Glastonbury, Connecticut. 76. a hoe to stay in business. Finding out it was traced. dad. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probablly havent understood the seriousness of the situation. 65. and quiet. Concerned, she demanded that he test her husband for it too. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Patient: Hi, I just had an autopsy. I remember my dad was preparing supper and was cutting up Onions and our whole The boy takes the quarters and leaves. Patient: Im worried about this birthmark. Mommy, Mommy! How many have you had?, Two. Leon Pendracky, OD, Avella, Pennsylvania. I was telling Dave how my time machine experiment went You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona. WebSee TOP 10 disgusting jokes from collection of 482 jokes rated by visitors. Two weeks later, he comes home to find her making out with his partner. in the corner. ! 32. hockey player? As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. sick jokes (warning really sick) : r/Jokes - Reddit I hope Death is a woman. No, she replied, my dad had no arms.. Wiped his ass. 62. WebBeside his ear. 19. Whats does Donald Trumps hair and a thong have in Dear Math, it's time to grow up and solve your own problems. A hockey player showers after 3 periods. Whats the difference between unlawful and illegal? Murray Grossan, MD, founder of the Grossan Institute, Los Angeles, Photo: Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock.com. Mr. Harper sued a hospital, saying that after his wife had surgery there, she lost all interest in sex. 36. Whats the bad news? I asked. 23. And I felt so alone. Sid Schwab, MD, Everett, Washington. They make me see-sick.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_6',664,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); A family gathers around their father who is very old and sick. Q - Whats red and wraped up in newspaper? I dont. 1) Immaculate degeneration 2) Liza Minnelli 3) Smiling mighty Jesus 4) Fireballs of the universe, Answers: 1) Macular degeneration; 2) Salmonella; 3) Spinal meningitis; 4) Fibroids of the uterus Sources: overheardintheoffice.com; notalwaysright.com; reader Evelyn Rosemore, Plano, Texas; Scrubs magazine. Some mornings I wake up bitchy. Social history reveals this one-year-old patient does not smoke or drink and is presently unemployed. Whats the worst thing about eating vegetables? Cause Jews only Theyll definitely ward off any sad thoughts and make you feel much better! 2023 Readers Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), hilarious headlines that could only have happened in Canada. Board. Nah, me neither. 81. I caught my wee brother sniffing my girlfriends My penis. they are cold? She is numb from her toes down. What is the best part of a blowjob? Both spend more time in I wanked over a blind girl yesterday. What does tofu and a dildo have in common? What do you call a cheap circumcision? Next Sat night, Simon Cowell will hosp Pope Idol. Id like to know my results. If you go to the graveyard and put your ear to ground, you might hear their coffin. himself? Illegal is just a sick bird. Op GOLDEN ORB (thats the Coronation to you and me). What do girls and noodles have in common? Are you ready for this?, Fleet enema. 3. Jokes The Daily English Show 1. WebThese lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? 74. 23. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Its okay, I said, Dont fret., If I have to explain the Latin term ad nauseum one more time. 40 Hilarious Coronavirus Jokes You Should Try on Your Friends 77. water before breaking off. Top 81 Sick Jokes Me: I understand. Just go back to sleep., Yehudi is the name of my dog. 15. family was crying. What did the volcano say to the other? 17. ( Only a fraction of people will get this clean joke .) sex with my own mother. Its OK, Yehudi, I said. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?